Creating a great relationship can be one of the most fun and exhilarating experiences you will ever go through, but getting there is the hard part. A new relationship or love interest can bring up a lot of stuff within us, such as the discomfort of not knowing whether or not the relationship will work out. It's the anticipation of whether he is into you, or if you are actually attracted to him.
The disappointment that comes after the initial excitement phase ensures that the relationship will actually cool off and get boring. The fact that all your sisters, friends and neighbors are all married and shouting at the kids makes "happily ever after" look like a distant fantasy. So, of course you struggle with, "why do I only attract the guy I don't want and never the guy I do want?" There are many obstacles to overcome in order to find "The One."
Here are four reasons you are keeping the guy you want at a distance:
1. Your belief in love is deflated
Focusing on all the obstacles and what might happen will absolutely leave you feeling deflated and overwhelmed. All that thinking can leave you exhausted and thinking love is impossible?going from being asked out, to the first date, from girlfriend to meeting the parents, a life tragedy to marriage. So, in order not to disappoint yourself, you might decide it would be easier to give up or not put yourself wholeheartedly into the mix.
2. You fail to go after what you really want
When you believe that love is impossible and the mountain is too high, you will fail to go after what you really want. You are afraid that you might actually be happy and that love might work out for you. Out of fear and out of playing it safe, you go out with the man who is into you. If you go out with the man who is into you, then there is no risk; you are in control of the outcome.
If you go after what you want, there is risk involved?the risk of being heartbroken, left alone, or the risk of being happy. The risk is worth it. After all, the benefits far outweigh the risk of settling, so why not go all in?
3. You believe "happily ever after" only applies to others
"Happily ever after" happens to someone that decides she will never give up, no matter what happens. She is someone that will take the risk and go after what she really wants. The woman who will stand up again and again after rejection, breakup and pain and won't settle for the status quo, will reach her target.
The universe always rewards the persistent and determined among us. It is your life and your choice that creates the outcome. So, get out there, find the resources, seek the education, and make life happen for you. The ball is in your court; believe in love and go make it your reality.
4. Negativity shows up when we are happy
Our cr*p shows up when we are happy and the only way to avoid your cr*p is to be in a relationship with someone loving, caring and who actually supports you. Feelings of insecurity, jealousy or avoiding our childhood traumas will show up when we are happy. It is what we do about it affects the outcome.
Having a relationship we cherish with someone we love can be a walk into the unknown and a whole new experience for us, but it is never one you will regret. Yes it is scary, but it is worth it. So face your crap and go after the guy you want, not the one you're getting.
You don't attract the guy you want simply because you are afraid of him; you are afraid of what it might require of you. You are afraid you may have to change in some way to acquire it, and change is scary because it is unknown. But, it is also the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. So, get out there and take a risk to go after what you want. If you're not attracted to him, shout "next!" You will get there; believe in love.
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